Note: all hate mail is presented, as received, complete and without editing (except where noted)
Subject: Firefox
I was just wondering if you actually want to see the Firefox browser flourish and become more popular than Internet Explorer? The reason I ask is because furry weirdos like you who promote it as a "furry browser" are going to make it lose popularity, fast.
Please take the stupid comments under the Firefox (and Thunderbird) logos on your site down, you're nothing but an embarrassment to people, like me, who actually want to use this browser to help stop the spread of spyware, adware and other viruses.
If you want to pollute the popularity of this excellent browser for your own selfish means, then go ahead, you'll just prove to myself and many others that furries care about no-one but themselves.
#ifdef SARCASM
No, Mike, I don't want to see Firefox become more popular than Internet Explorer. As the lead developer for Internet Explorer, I was discussing this Firefox problem with Steve (Steve Ballmer) over a round of golf. Steve asks what can we here at Microsoft do about that goddamn Firefox. What with all those state of the art features like mouse gestures and tabbed browsing that Bill just wasn't interested in, and let's not forget that our browser is a grave security threat. Those damn CERT people: the nerve of them to tell people to stop using our browser! Bill is still plenty pissed over that one, let me tell you. So, anyway, I tell Steve that we're doing our best, but it's not easy catching up after all these years that the development of IE was neglected. So I suggest that we need to buy time, to give people a reason to decline to use Firefox.
Well, Steve's eyes light right up, and he says:
"I've got just the thing. Those folks at Mozilla are already using cutsey animal logos, so we'll tell everyone that Firefox is a Furry browser. Seeing how everyone knows what a bunch of weirdos and perverts those Furries are, why, NO ONE will ever want to use the damn thing."
So I set this web site up for no other reason than to convince the entire world that Firefox is the Furry browser. Never let it be said that we at Microsoft don't know how to run a FUD campaign.
I got to hand it to you. You sure did figure us out pretty quick. You even beat that pesky Eric S. Raymond to the uncovering of our little plot. Damn! You are brilliant. There might even be a place for you here at our Redmond campus. We can always use smart people like you.
#endif
Yeah, Furry fandom is just sooooooooooooooo powerful and influential that we can dictate to millions of mundanes who've never even heard about our fandom, and couldn't care less even if you paid them if they have, their software choices. With never-ending patience they will put up with spyware, adware, nagware, Trojans and WinVirii™, but, God forbid, they use a browser with a vaguely Furry logo!
Here's a reality check, Mike: just because an asshole like you would be "embarrassed" over a silly logo doesn't mean that everyone else will be. Most people, Furries and mundanes alike, are not that shallow.
"...you'll just prove to myself and many others that furries care about no-one but themselves"
It wouldn't make one damn bit of difference what I do, seeing that you've already made up your mind about Furries.
Furries deserve the reputation they have. Have you looked at VCL or Fchan? They're full of furry porn. The sheer amount of it rivals 4chan. Furry art is considered wank material by most furs. Why do you think it sells better than clean art in cons? Of course, there's no yiffing at the cons themselves, but I see people on Furnet discussing the orgies that happen in private hotel rooms. There is also the vorefurs, babyfurs, macrofurs, and zoophiles who think furry fandom is where they can flaunt their fetishes. Do you see this kind of stuff at a comic book convention, besides the porn? Furs embarrass themselves in other places as well. I can't tell you how many stories I read about where furs go to public places, don fursuits, and display PDA (is that redundant?) and sometimes even yiff. Then then are yelled at by the owner of that public place. Once in a while they get it, but more often than not they cry fursicution. Then there are the furry otherkin. Notice how the ones who believe they are reincarnated from animals say they were once wolves, or dragons, or foxes. They never claim to be a former rat or a vole. Before I completly go off-topic and make this rant even longer, I would like to say that all this porn and the fact that furries flaunt their fetish prove that furries mostly deserve the rep they get for taking what was an ordinary fandom and turning it into a fetish/quasi-religion.
Yannow, John, may be you can ask your mother to demand a refund. It's obvious that "Hooked on Phonics" didn't work out for you. How do I know this? It's simple: you wouldn't have sent me this bullshit if you had actually read and comprehended the goddamn articles. I already discussed at length the phenomenon of furotica, and I'm not going to repeat myself here.
"Furs embarrass themselves in other places as well. I can't tell you how many stories I read about where furs go to public places, don fursuits, and display PDA (is that redundant?) and sometimes even yiff."
They display their Personal Digital Assistants? You don't say. Key word there, asshole: "stories". Of course, no one ever e-lied and/or exaggerated on the Internet. Tell me, are you still wondering when your Nigerian $Millions are going to arrive?
"Then there are the furry otherkin. Notice how the ones who believe they are reincarnated from animals say they were once wolves, or dragons, or foxes. They never claim to be a former rat or a vole."
"...I would like to say that all this porn and the fact that furries flaunt their fetish prove that furries mostly deserve the rep they get for taking what was an ordinary fandom and turning it into a fetish/quasi-religion."
Of course, the media never sensationalize and exaggerate anything for titillation and ratings. MTV has impeccable journalistic integrity, and CSI are all documentaries. There are no tabloids that bend the truth, and you can believe everything you read in Vanity Fair and Loaded without question. And the Weekly World News and the Wall Street journal are equally reliable sources of news. Right?
Go on: keep proving me right. Furbashers are grade A morons.
Alright, I did deserve a lot of that, since that was a rather incoherant rant. And I forgot that PDA has more than one meaning.But I have never seen the articles and tv episodes you mentiond, this is from experience. What I meant about the last part was that the fetishes furries have are so visible. I had just made another huge rant about this, but I will shorten it down. Basically, looking up anime usually links to anime shows, looking up furry links to furry art sites, much of which is porn, and I have counted the amount of furry art on Yerf, Fchan and VCL. The total is 189,982 clean pictures, and 237,245 pictures of smut.
Anyways, I am not against furries. I like your articles, I know that only 1 percent of furs are zoophiles, I think the Burned Furs were morons and that furs can be very nice people, and I like Linux. However, I don't think people should gloss over what us furs are really like. Sorry for overreacting about it.
Yes, you sure did. Helps to know what you're writing about, doesn't it?
A little while later, I got this follow up.
Subject: Disregard my last email
I just read some more of your articles, and I was wrong. You do not gloss over what's messed up about the fandom.
Now, people, there is a very valuable lesson in there, if you care to learn it. It's quite simple actually: read, comprehend, and, dammit, think before engaging your keyboard. You won't be wasting your time, and my time, and you also gain the advantage of not looking like a complete 'tard. "T3H INTARWEBS" would run a helluvalot more smoothly if only more of you people would do these three simple things.
If you do not accept these terms, then, don't send me hate mail.
P.S.
